A friend of mine visited me in cork this weekend and I have to say she really worked it! Her game was spot on, and she met an amazing man, so let me tell you how she did it.
I’m not sure what came over my friend but after years of knowing her, she finally asked me to date coach her so I was thrilled. In order to set the mood for going out and meeting people, we did some shopping and she got a new dress and heels. Then we popped into Clinique for a free makeover. What she did well was she opted for a more feminine and sophisticated look, as a petite girl of 5’3 it was important not to look too girly. Her makeup choices were also very natural and simple. She was feeling more confident already. Then to decide what to wear that night, although the new black dress she bought was amazing, I pushed for a little more colour so she would pop when she entered a room. She went with an amazing coral dress, long lace sleeves but short with heels. Even though she was begging to wear the tights, and it was cold, I pushed for a little bare leg (I think it’s important to flaunt chest or legs but not both at the same time). Hair down and sassy, she had the look and the confidence.
Strategy 1: Smile at the room.
My friend is 5’0, you may not notice her straight away but what she excels at is smiling at the room. She just beams and when she makes eye contact with you or talks to you, you feel drawn in and it’s like you’re the only one in the room. It’s one of her strengths as well as a limitation. She can engage with anyone in a conversation and sometimes I have to pull her away from sixty year old charming Irish men because she can have fun talking to anyone. Having fun conversations with anyone wasn’t the goal tonight, we were on a mission to meet someone she could possibly date, so she could be nice but she had to be on the move.
Strategy 2: Keep on the move.To quote Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, there are two reasons that women walk around the room: “Either you are in each other’s confidence and have secret affairs to discuss, or you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage by walking. If the first, I should get in your way. If the second, I can admire you much better from here.” Don’t get stuck standing or sitting in one place too long, when you are on the move men can admire your figure and you also have the opportunity to make eye contact and encounter more people. If you are out for the night, move pubs often when you feel there is no one there you are interested in. My friend and I walked into an amazing music venue, and I tested her by asking “what do you think, should we stay?” but she was replied “The music is amazing but it’s too loud to talk to anyone here”, so we left. That was a very smart move. Choose a place that is conducive to talking, with good lighting. Try to be aware of who you are attracted to in the room and move toward them. The likelihood of you talking is greater if you are near them, unless you fancy bringing a megaphone.
Strategy 3: Don’t be easy, but be easy.
Your approach should be light, fun and easy. Make eye contact across a room, look away , then look back with a cheeky smile and turn your head. Throw in a tiny wave if he’s obviously staring. When you finally see someone you might want to talk to: keep it fun, don’t think too much about it. Maybe comment on something he’s doing. My friend noticed a guy was looking at my heels so she said “Are you checking out my friend’s shoes or just trying to see how tall she is?” I noticed a group of guys together so I asked what the occasion was, they said they were “given permission to go out”, so I questioned if they knew each other from prison. This turned into a hilarious conversation about notorious prison breakouts. Quirky but at least we weren’t talking about where we are from or what we do for a living for the 100th time that night. The group turned out to all have girlfriends not prison wards, who had given them “permission” to go out, so I changed tactic and then asked if he had any nice single friends he could set up my friend with? If you like a guy, but he’s taken, he could have access to other nice guys like him so why not?!
My friend ended up hitting it off with a guy we met while on the move around the bar, not even quite sure how it happened but she commented on something he was doing, smiled, laughed and that was it. They kissed later on and he asked her to go home with him. Now some of you may be appalled at this but I don’t mind a guy who asks to go home with you, it’s not him asking but it’s how he responds to you if you say no. He was totally fine about her not wanting to take him home and got her number, mentioning their second date.
Easy but not easy. Fair play to ya girl (In my best Cork accent).