This question is for my single ladies out there. When someone asks you about your love life… “Are you seeing anyone special? How’s the dating going?” How do you reply? Do you reply with groans and moans about how you hate dating and it sucks. Or do you draw on the positives of being single?
The single status does not automatically equate misery or some latency period or limbo where you are waiting until you get in a relationship. I challenge you to think of five reasons why you love being single. What are the opportunities and adventures that being single gives you?
I have been married for six months, and I have to be honest with you, I sometimes miss being single. I love my husband and being married but being single was also a great time for me and added a hopeful excitement and mystery to my life . I never knew who I was going to meet or connect with. Was love right around the corner? The butterflies, the heartbreak, the adventure of connecting with someone new.
Can you enjoy being single while you are? If you can remain hopeful and have fun during the process? If you can, that is very sexy to men. So even if you aren’t there yet, try forcing a positive reply next time someone asks about your love life.
One of the secrets to dating is optimism. Are you a hopeful or hopeless romantic? Can you see the positive in heartbreak? (Most of the women I know, including myself, always turn out better after a heartbreak…it’s a great excuse for a life makeover and you learn more about who you are and what you deserve. Think Felicity with the cute haircut).
Can we embrace love without the fear of heartbreak? Or do we predict that once again, this one won’t turn out the way we wanted.
If you are really putting yourself out there as a single woman, you should be experiencing rejection regularly. I would say the more dates you go on ,the more people you meet, there will be rejection. This isn’t necessarily bad if you are learning in the process and staying true to who you are. So I would guess, that if you aren’t getting regularly rejected, you probably aren’t putting yourself out there.
My challenge for you is, can you see past the rejection and continue to believe that there is someone (or many people) out there that are a good match for you. Can you learn from the experience, find strength, and say “next!”. The success rate isn’t good….but after all you’re only looking for one match.
By remaining hopeful we remain open and vulnerable. With vulnerability comes love.
My favorite poem by e.e. cummings (who somehow never saw the caps lock button on the keyboard)
let it go – the
let it go – the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise – let it go it
was sworn to
let them go – the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and
neithers – you must let them go they
let all go – the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things – let all go
so comes love