I have been practicing yoga for about 10 years and one thing that my yoga teacher always emphasized was that you have to bring yoga out of the studio and into your everyday life. How can the principles of yoga be applied to our love life?
For me, yoga has been about letting go of control and being present in the moment.
Dating in a modern world gives us so many options and avenues to find love…online dating, speed dating, matchmaking, etc. In a way there are so many ways to take action and improve our love life that we might begin to think we have control over the outcome of our efforts. This perception of control can lead to frustration when the outcome isn’t what is expected.
For example, we might join an online dating sight and send out 20 messages in a week with little to no replies. Or we might have an amazing first date but he never texts or asks us out again. According to an article in the Yogi Times (http://www.yogitimes.com/article/bhagavad-gita-online-dating-yoga-healthy/#sthash.7cqqjKEJ.dpufhttp://ow.ly/AtfhQ), we need to let go of results and frantically trying to guess what has happened. “Why isn’t he calling? What did I do? What did I say? Was I too much?”
We don’t have control over the results but we do have control over our own actions and responses. Our role is to be proactive and to “be authentic and then let go”. You can’t control how another person feels or responds to you. It takes a lot of energy to worry and guess what went “wrong”. You need to free up that energy for getting out there, starting again, and meeting new people. When a guy doesn’t swipe right for you on Tinder, it is no reflection of your worth as a human being. Just like all the men you weren’t interested in but they were nice guys and will find love, just not with you.
Hindu scripture states: “You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.” – Bhagavad Gita 2.47”
Act and then let go. When we start to speculate the reasons why someone didn’t call us or didn’t bother to get out number in the first place we start to blame ourselves or create anger towards the other person. Neither of which is helpful to opening yourself up to meet someone new (or very sexy!).
Being a yogi is about non judgment, compassion, and letting go of control. It’s also about being present in the moment. So often in dating we are worrying about the past or trying to control the future instead of just being present in the now. Instead of focusing on past/future (“Why didn’t it work out with him? /When will I get a boyfriend?”), enjoy the present moment and all the joys that come from being single and being your fabulous self. Then take action toward love with an attitude of hope but allowing yourself to let go of unhealthy expectations.