“I have been separated for 6 years . The first few years I was not interested in a relationship . I had been in a relationship for 13 years and felt I needed time to myself . The kids were young and I wanted to spend my energies on then without bringing a man on to the scene . After a few years I casually dated a few men but never brought them home or introduced them to the kids as I didn’t think they were good enough for my boys to meet .
I moved back to Ireland nearly 2 years ago and it took me 18 months to settle us all in .Now I was ready for a proper relationship. I am a very social person and have lots of different interests. So I thought that I would meet someone quiet easily . How wrong was I . I consider myself to be reasonable attractive ,smart and funny and yet I wasn’t even getting a date . When I went out on a night out with the girls I only seemed to attract the drunks at the end of the night . I had dabbled on internet dating but had 3 disastrous dates and had given up .
I was on a coarse and got talking to Karen who told me she was a dating coach . That’s when the light turned on for me . My dating or lack of it I felt was down to me not having a clue about how to go about it so having someone to help me sounded like the best idea .
I meet with Karen and we chatted about my dating . In that first session the world of dating opened up for me . I realized that I was embarrassed about wanting to date. Where that came from I don’t know but Karen gave me the confidence to accept it . That was new for me so I told anybody that would listen that I was looking to date . The big thing for me was to tell my children and they were delighted for me . Everybody I meet was really happy for me and people started thinking of friends and relatives who were also single that maybe could be a match . Nobody judged me as desperate as I had previously believed .
Next was my block about why would any man want to date a single women with 3 kids who also lives and takes care of her old and batty mother .
Karen helped me to see that as I think my kids are so fabulous and I am incredible proud of them then I have to see them as an asset and not a hindrance . I had never thought of that before . Bing ,another light goes on .
Those 2 changes in my perceptions turned everything around for me and like anything in life it is all about your perceptions .
I decided to give internet dating another go . Karen coached me about what pictures to put up ,what to write and what not to write on my profile . There are rules to the game and Karen coached me through them .A lot of them were common sense but I would not have known them .
I felt very confident on the site . Karen and myself had gone over what I wanted and what I didn’t want so I was ready for action . It does take a lot of time and is like having a part time job but it’s exciting at the same time .
The first 3 dates were alright but nothing special and I didn’t meet then again . The 4th date was interesting and we decided to meet again . The 2nd date was perfect and the 3rd 4th and 5th .
So I am now dating a guy that gets me ,thinks my kids are great and is thrilled to take on the whole package . I was not looking for someone to take care of me and my kids and mother ,I have been doing that very well by myself .I didn’t need a man in my life ,I wanted one . I want to love and be loved.
I was ready for a relationship but just didn’t have the knowledge or the skills to know how to go about it . Karen is super sweet and having someone there to support you in the whole jungle of dating was fantastic .As a divorced woman with kids I think a dating coach is the way to go . We have been off the scene for years and have forgotten all the rules . Karen is passionate about what she does and knows her stuff . We actually only meet twice but that was enough for me . I was under her wing and I felt safe. I believe we all need to love and be loved and Karen is the women to help you get there if you are ready . I highly recommend her . ”
Annette (26, Galway)
“Can’t believe it’s nearly a year since our last session!!!!
I met a lovely guy last July and we’ve been going out 10 months now(!) which is a big record for me and I like to think you had something to do with that 🙂 He’s a total sweetheart and soooo funny and we both see things the same way and I can tell him anything and talk about anything with him and he’s just great so I’m very happy. Mum likes him too 🙂
Loads of the things you said helped, but I think what inspired me most was all the tips you gave me on finding someone on a night out, about not standing in a closed group, all the tips for opening conversation, giving me lines for how to politely turn someone away. The idea of coming out with me on a night was great too. Also learning that guys get over it if you turn them down, cos it got to the point I didn’t want to try going out with a guy in case I hurt someone! Something I learnt personally was to focus on the positives in a guy, so I have a notebook and after the first few dates I would make myself write down 5 positive things the guy had done (which in my boyfriend’s case ended up being several pages hee hee) this REALLY helped focus my mind on good things about the date and the guy. Thank you!”
Conor (35, Cork)
“I really appreciate the help / guidance and encouragement you gave me as it made such a massive difference. It really helped my confidence and it’s no coincidence that I met my girlfriend when I was getting coaching from you”